Well, back in the day I was friends with a guy named “Ryan.” He was a killer guitarist and played in a local Death Metal band. I was really a different sort of person than he was and normally, I suppose it would just be one of those friendships that would kind of fade away. This was when Myspace was getting huge though so I kept in contact with him through that as I had relocated to another town.
He’d phone me up every once in awhile. One time he told me how he moved out of state to hook up with a lady that he met online. Honestly, that seemed kind of creepy to me and still does. Eventually, he got back to me and it didn’t end well. This was long before I knew about men’s rights. He told me she had slapped him around and he couldn’t take it so he left her. I understood the bind he was in because most guys have been raised to never hit a girl no matter what. Still, it was hard to listen to him whine that he missed her. She obviously had a mean streak and he needed to get away.
Anyways, with all his “lady problems,” he still liked to boast about his “notches.” I’m much more aware of things these days and this was obviously status seeking. He’d also make little comments about his being more “experienced” than I was. Whatever, anyone can chase after single moms, fatties and women with a bad temper.
And, somehow at this point, he was always asking about my sister. Well, I never really got along with her. I guess they had hung out a few times.
Fast forward a bit, now I was going back home for the first time in awhile. My dog “Duke” was really sick. These were his final days and I’m glad I got to see him that last time. At one point, I mentioned that I was gonna give Ryan a call. My sister got a bit apprehensive and she said something like “Um, Duke’s really out of it, he can’t have any disturbances. Um, really, uh, if you must hang with Ryan–ask Mom if you can borrow the car and see him somewhere else.” I’m not Mr. Emotional Intelligence but in hindsight, my sister didn’t want anything to do with Ryan. I didn’t get around to calling him, just stayed with Duke and played video games.
After I returned, my mom called me and told me that Duke had been putt to sleep. I gave Ryan a call–he was supposed to be my confidant, right? He had told me about his personal problems. He knew how close I was to Duke even if he thought that Duke was only a dog. So when he picked up the phone, I told him about Duke. He said he knew and that he had talked to my sister. Then he went on to talk about his problems. No condolences, nothing. Just passed the topic up like I lost $50 at a poker game. So he went on whining how his “girlfriend” dumped him. At one point, he revealed that she was married. He talked about all the emotional support he had given her. At this point, I was one part mad and one part bummed out. He was complaining about how a married woman had used him for dick and emotional validation where here I had lost my best friend. The two are not comparable, asshole.
His free therapy session went on for another 20 minutes before I couldn’t take any more and excused myself from his conversation. Anyways, I don’t know if boinking a married woman is ethical, I haven’t kept up on my Plato, Aristotle, Kant, Nietzsche and Machiavelli enough to tell I do know that a man in such a situation is at the disadvantage if he wants a “relationship.” Just like the old blues songs, he is a Back Door Man. hehehe, yeah, I suppose there is a different meaning for that these days just like Led Zep’s “In Through the Out Door.” So, yeah as Myspace started dying off, I didn’t jump onto the Facebook craze. I don’t have time for fake friends. After the call ended, I erased his number from my phone, deleted him from Myspace and never spoke to him again. Goddamn, I miss Duke….