Might surprise some, but I dig the outdoors. This weekend I took myself on a long hike. Love the road less traveled. Sometimes that can be great. Sometimes I find cool stuff. This time, nah….
Should’ve stayed on the “official” trails. Walked down a hill. All of the sudden I was surrounded by bees. Started running. Tore off my shirt to whisk ’em away. Mutherfuckers started stinging. I was shit scared-terrified even. One sting after another. Pulled a stinger outta my arm. Breathless–tears running down my cheeks. Made my way back to my truck. Started to calm down a bit. I had stings everywhere, even on my scalp. Was I in shock? Was I supposed to drive to the hospital?
Got back home. Read on the ‘net that ammonia and baking soda were good for bee stings. Wiped myself down with ammonia. The hard smell opened my sinuses. Jumped in the tub, took some baking soda and rubbed my wounds. After doing a quick count I estimated 15-20 stings. I felt beat up but realized that I was excruciatingly hungry. Got dressed. Went to a Vietnamese restaurant. Started eating a big bowl of Pho. For those who don’t know, it’s basically chicken soup with vermicelli noddles that you can hot rod with hot sauce, jalapenoes and soy sauce.
Now here’s where things get strange. As I was eating my hot rodded Pho, I realized I was feeling very good. I still felt beat up. I was still in a world of hurt. But overall, I was in an amazing mood. Maybe there is some chemical in bee stingers that produces euphoric effects. I have heard some people get a “high” after getting tattooed. Maybe I was experiencing something similar.
After such a crappy day, it was ironic that I went to sleep with a smile on my face.