Interesting Quote about “Nice Guys”

Well, as anyone who visits this blog knows, I read allot of different things across the blogsphere in regards to gender. If you’ve been readings in similar circles as I, you have likely read about “Nice Guys TM.” I’ve been reading Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work by Paul Blabiac & Robert D. Hare. This quote on pages 318-319 jumped right out:

“….Research at the University of British Columbia suggests that jerks are sexually more successful than nice guys, who often tend to finish last. Psychologist Paul Trapnell defines jerks as “manipulative, arrogant, boastful, calculating, quarrelsome, and sly.” They are cold enough not to worry about their effect on others. But why are they so successful at attracting women? Part of the reason is that they have fewer social inhibitions, try harder, and sell themselves better than do the rest of us.

For example, most men whose advances to a woman are rebuffed will slink away, their ego and self-image validated or damaged. They are unlikely to try again, unless the signs of interest from a woman are unmistakable. a jerk/psychopath, on the other hand, knows he is perfect an is not worried about being rejected: “It’s her problem, not mine.” He simply moves on to the next woman.

The same principles apply to other aspects of human interaction, including attempts to scam or manipulate others.”

Agree? Disagree? As always, comments welcome….

2 thoughts on “Interesting Quote about “Nice Guys”

  1. I think that is a profoundly accurate quote to explain the “Nice Guy / Jerk” dichotomy.

    As a former nice guy who struggled with women for much of my younger years, the single most-important mindset I had to develop was “If I’m rejected by a woman, it has zero bearing on my worth as a human being, as a man and as a mate. Statistically, if one woman rejects me it makes the next woman less likely to do so.”

    It eventually just became a numbers game. Eventually I worked up the nerve to engage every woman I found attractive and within my “league.”

    The next thing I knew – I hadn’t been dateless in months. The key change in my mentality was to stop taking rejection so personally – something jerks/psychopaths do naturally.

  2. A bit off topic but since this topic is of such importance to everyone who uses the internet AND you have a post up at In Mala Fide :

    http://volokh.com/2011/11/22/my-assessment-of-senator-leahys-proposed-amendment-to-the-cfaa/
    Yes, they are about to pass a law that says that if you violate the TOS of a website it can be a federal crime.

    Multi pronged attack on the internet, don’t you think? Me, personally? I’m looking into a “citizens” internet.

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