When Life is like a Videogame…

Well, I was talking to my friend. We agreed that a bowl of Pho would be great. He told me the general location and I was gonna follow him. We were catching the tail end of 5 o’clock traffic and following him wasn’t such an easy task. At one point he made a right turn at a red. I was about to follow. A motorcyclist pulled right alongside me. Sucks, blocked in. Finally caught up, was growing aggravated. Followed him onto the freeway. A grey Prius that looked like his twin pulled in-between us. Got the feeling I was going to lose track of him. About to lose temper. Was ready to pound my fist on the dashboard and cuss out everyone around me.

All of the sudden a strange idea popped into my mind. Why don’t I pretend I’m playing a video game. The goal was to keep track of the Prius, and I never realized ’til now how common they are. Of course it was game over if I crashed so I wasn’t gonna take any undue risks following my maniac friend.

Within seconds, my mood changed from extremely agitated to having more fun than I’ve had in days uh, weeks. No longer were the other cars inconsiderate douchebag drivers. All of the sudden I saw fun in the challenge. More cars delved between us and it was a monumental task to keep track of the Prius. I mean, c’mon, who can tell the difference between a grey Pontiac G6 and a Toyota Prius of a similar hue. It’s not like today’s cars have the sexy curves of a vintage Charger or a‘Cuda.

I finally caught up to the stealthy Prius and drove up alongside in the left hand lane. It was easier to keep track sideways then following behind. I had the tunes cranked-some oldschool Anthrax. We finally veered off to some crowded side streets. I was again alongside my friend, he gave me some instructions how to get to the destination should I lose sight of him. An aggro middle-aged lady in an Acura gave me a dirty look. She cut ahead of me. Then she recklessly made a right hand turn as some shoppers were walking through a cross walk. That was one of the rare times I wished a copper was around.

We safely arrived at the Pho place and ordered two big bowls. We discussed MGTOW or as we called them in conversation migtoe’s. My friend had viewed videos by Stardusk and Barbarossa. At this point, he is probably more knowledgeable about their tenets and philosophies than I am. (Even though for all intents and purposes I may just be one.) We walked over to the nearby mall. I rarely go to the mall so it’s a little bit of culture shock with how out of touch I am. We walked into a Spencer’s and I had not been in that place since the late 90’s. It was really kind of cool as they had Metallica’s “Master of Puppets” blaring. We walked by a Hooter’s type place where buxom servers gave frat boys overpriced and likely underpowered beer. I laughed and said “Would migtoe’s call them mangina’s?”

He responded, “More like wannabe PUA p*ssybeggars.”

I asked, “Are there any record stores here?”

He said, “No one buys music anymore.”

We wound up in a video game shop and I bought Metal Gear used for 99 cents. Haha, maybe Twisted Metal woulda been more appropriate.

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