…so, uh, I was doing some reading on the darker side of the web and I came across an obscure news story about Seal Team 6 and the operation to kill Osama Bin Laden…

…during the prep for the assault, the commanding officer told the operatives that this was a very important mission and if they screwed up, the government would deny culpability. They would be left to rot in a Pakistani jail without hope of escape.

“It won’t be a party like Guantanamo. You won’t have hot babes giving you grinding lapdances while Metallica blares in the background. Heck, you probably won’t even get kebab’s and curry. It’s the toughest prison in the world. It makes Auschwitz look like kindergarten. It makes Dante’s Inferno look like the 3rd fuckin’ grade men…”

This’ll be your cell mate. He’s not as big as Bubba in an American prison. But atleast Bubba will leave you to cry yourself to sleep in a puddle of blood and semen. This guy does it for the flag. And then he writes about it on his blog. And then other guys laugh at your misery. And then when you beg for him to kill you, he tells you he’s gonna shoot a million little bullets in your mouth as he tells you he like to “raw dawg” it. No hole is safe. Not even your nostrils. Don’t Screw the pooch, there’s worse fates than death…”

Needless to say, they accomplished the mission. Everyone’s “favorite” love terrorist never did get his Seal flag….

Trigger Warning: Unfortunately no male feminist extraordinaire’s or White Nationalists were harmed during the writing of this. And, O’Bombya, please don’t sick the NSA on me, this was my attempt at humor, just like your attempt at leadership….

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