…looks like “entusiastic consent” only applies to womyn…

So, I found this gross link to femanazi hate site Jezzabel via the always interesting Maggie McNeill.

Apparently this is the Dear Abbey for misandist, “empowered”, bigots…

“Help me out here: how and when do I stick my finger up a guy’s ass? A lot of men think that’s off-limits, so I’ve never ventured back there, but I want to massage someone’s prostate goddamnit! How can I make this work?

-Susie, CA

If you want this to work you’re going to have to be very delicate, and take things slowly. No one wants a dry finger shoved up their butt at random. In my experience, guys are generally more open to new concepts, and trying out new things, when you have their dick in your mouth. (This is because fellatio slows their brain down to a point of temporary retardation, which means their guard is down.) This is why mid-BJ is a great time to bring up things like, “Are we official?” or “Can I please borrow your car and $700?”

So, while you’re sucking, start playing with his balls and then slowly move moving your fingers back in the desired direction. Be conscious of how he’s responding to your touch. If he flinches as soon as you start poking around in that area, that’s not a good sign, but don’t give up hope just yet. Wait a minute or so, then do something fancy with your tongue to distract him and try again, rubbing lightly around the outside of the hole, as not to scare it. It might take a while to “feel out” (lol) if he’s going to be down for butt stuff, but even if your first attempt is a total failure, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s never going to happen. Maybe it just wasn’t the right time, ya know? (To be honest, even if you’re someone who’s generally into anal, sometimes you just don’t want someone back there, like if you have to go to the bathroom or if you’re hemorrhoid is acting up or whatever.) Basically, never give up and remember that with a little perseverance you can do anything you put your mind to, Susie! Just think: it took NASA a long time to figure out Mars, but they never gave up and then finally last month they achieved their goal of DJing a Will.I.Am song from space. #inspirational

Also, this is sort of a no-brainer, but make sure your nails are trimmed and that your fingers have some spit or lube on them when you finally go for it, because intra-anal lacerations are not not glamorous.”

Now, I won’t even discuss how Susie in CA comes across as “sexually entitled” or that if a man demanded a sexual act in a similar way he would be called, creepy, rapey or a subhuman Nice Guy ™ piece of shit.

I will say how Ms. Karley Sciortino never even suggests asking a potential partner about their feelings towards a sexual act. She does acknowledge that the receiving partner could be injured if it’s not handled properly. This is a little more than an excited lover getting a little handsy and their partner pushing their hands away. Sounds like something that should definitely be discussed beforehand. I personally find this act gross and wouldn’t allow it. That’s neither here nor there though. BD & SM isn’t something I know a ton about or have any kind of desire to explore. But from what I do know, people talk to their partners BEFOREHAND because there are acts that could be dangerous if not properly conducted. Why is this different? Oh, I get it, because it is a man on the receiving end. Feminism, not just a hate movement, but a place for hypocrites….

11 thoughts on “…looks like “entusiastic consent” only applies to womyn…

  1. Some men are very repressed. Nothing wrong with a prostrate massage; there’s a whole lot that is right about it.

    Still, the so-called “expert”‘s remarks are off. Just as I wouldn’t simply spring anal on a girl in the middle of some doggy-styling, she shouldn’t be “stealthing” her finger(s) up my ass.

    1. Perhaps I phrased this wrong. I don’t think there is anything wrong about it: it’s just that wanting to do it to “SOMEONE-ANYONE” seems to be kinda random. Wanting to *receive* it, I can understand.

  2. Wow…can you imagine if the language was changed a little and the sexes were reversed?

    “Help me out here: how and when do I stick my finger up a girl’s ass? A lot of women think that’s off-limits, so I’ve never ventured back there, but I want to massage the back of someone’s G-spot, dammit! How can I make this work?”

    Yeah, cause THAT would go over really well. The asker of this question sounds rather revolting, actually…she writes with such a sense of entitlement, like just because SHE wants to do something with a piece of anatomy not available to her, that it’s up to her boyfriend to give in to her. What if he was anally raped years ago? What if he’s afraid of liking something “homosexual”? What if he needed colon surgery and has painful polyps (not something you usually discuss with people)? Or what if he’s just not into that, no real reason? Maybe she should…oh, I don’t know…talk about this beforehand, like normal/empathetic partners do. Geez, how disgusting of her.

    @Stoner
    One question for you, though. Why do you bring up BDSM in your post? It doesn’t have anything to do with what you were writing about, and comes off as being very random…

    1. My (limited) understanding of BDSM is that people will discuss what they do beforehand as many of the activities could be dangerous or a huge violation of personal boundries and that there is a safeword. Once the safeword is mentioned everything stops. For the reasons you mentioned, “butt play” could be uncomfortable and even harmful. So, therefore, while maybe not BDSM, if should be treated with a similar approach. If two people want to do this, they should discuss it beforehand.

      As BTR stated above:

      “Still, the so-called “expert”‘s remarks are off. Just as I wouldn’t simply spring anal on a girl in the middle of some doggy-styling, she shouldn’t be “stealthing” her finger(s) up my ass.”

      On a second read, I’ve gotten angrier as this lady mentions guys become more agreeable while getting a BJ-I’m almost surprised she didn’t say “it is because all the blood rushed out of their brain.” A man trying to make a woman more “agreeable” with alcohol is a rapist according to feminist discourse.

      It looks more and more that the so-called “sex-positive” movement is really sex positive for women. Very similar to how commenters have been mentioning how the “fat acceptance” movement is really fat acceptance for women.

      1. Ah, okay. Thanks for the clarification.

        Yes, you’re basically right about BDSM. My lover and I play at this a fair amount (probably 40% of the time we have sex), and you are correct: The use of a safeword, or series of safewords, is extremely important to this type of sex play. If it’s not heeded, then the sub can end up getting mentally or physically hurt, have flashbacks, or lose trust in other parts of the relationship. I see where you were drawing the connection now, and fully agree.

        I also agree wholeheartedly with your condemnation of this woman’s “advice”. Using alcohol, physical violence, sexual withdrawal, or mental/emotional coercion is certainly wrong to do to anyone. Each is a way of taking advantage of the other person’s vulnerability…definitely NOT what a sane, healthy adult would want their partner to have. While I’m unsure if this “advice” is condoning rape, per se, I absolutely read it as condoning coercion and sexual harassment of one’s sexmate. Disgusting, if you ask me.

        I’m saddened by how true your last paragraph is, Stoner. Sexuality should be good for everyone, not just a select few, whether those be women or men. While I’m thrilled that we’re beginning to be more accepting of female sexuality and desire, my feelings are tempered by the realization that we have so far to go in regards to male sexuality and desire. For whatever reason, the masculine body is still covered up, feared, and demonized…much to my displeasure, since I believe the entirety of the male form is beautiful to behold. The fact that men are made to feel like they are somehow a perverse or dirty sex is appalling, and does nothing to promote the so-called equality that Fems say they work for.

        My only hope is that the pendulum of Western society will soon swing back a little, and we’ll find a true balance between the sexes.

  3. Ahh, their hypocrisy never ceases to amaze.

    The complete objectification of the male is interesting, given their constant shrieking about this.

    Here is a real question, are we ‘just as delusional’ or do we get it? How can they be so utterly blind? Ego investment?

  4. Tarnished:

    “sexual withdrawal, or mental/emotional coercion is certainly wrong to do to anyone. Each is a way of taking advantage of the other person’s vulnerability…definitely NOT what a sane, healthy adult would want their partner to have.”
    Really?
    Did you even think before you typed such stupidity? How in the fuck is ‘sexual withdrawal’ (which can have many reasons) abuse? And what is mental/emotional coercion? seems to be conflating deliberately tearing at someone’s self-esteem with letting one’s partner know one is unhappy with the amount of sex in the relationship.
    To paraphrase your apparent thought process: “Oh my God, I have to consider someone else’s feelings! This is UPSETTING! I know. I’ll call it abuse, and then I’ll be the victim!”

    Seriously, grow the fuck up. The conflation of all imperfect relationship dynamics that result in any kind of conflict or emotional trauma at all as abuse is ridiculous.

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