Single Men are Discriminated Against…

If you are a single guy, you’ve probably seen this in your own life…

If you are perpetually single, you might find that your male friends pair off either into marriages or serious relationships with women. Slowly but surely, you will lose contact, occassionaly getting an invite to go out and grab a drink or go to a BBQ. If your friend’s GF or wife thinks you are “decent,” she might try to introduce you to one of her single friends. If she thinks you are a “dirtbag,” you can be sure she is nagging to your friend behind your back and telling her single friends what a loser you are and there is a reason you are single.

In employment, being single might make you “desirable” to employers for entry level positions-they might expect 24/7 availability because you don’t have to plan your schedule around child care. However, the higher ranking positions have married men occupying them. Single guys aren’t welcome in the “ole boys club.” How many President’s were bachelors? One or two maybe?

When I was younger, I was virgin shamed. Comments like “You couldn’t get laid in a whorehouse with a hand full of fifties” and “What,are you some kind of closet case?” weren’t uncommon. As I’m aging (though a bit better than grey beard Roosh) the comments are more along the lines of, “Well, if you really tried, you could find a good women, there are lot’s of ladies dying to meet a decent guy, you just can’t expect a Playboy Playmate.” “I bet Charlie Sheen is your hero.” “Guys like you are interested in only one thing, when are you going to grow up and realize women have so much more to offer.”

Even with all the discrimination, though, I don’t think I’ve got it all that bad. Remember the comments at the now defunct The-Spearead? If you don’t, I suppose you could mosey on down to AVfM and read how badly guys get assraped in divorce court. I don’t think that’s something I need to endure in my life to understand it’s bad. I haven’t been shot (though I’ve been shot at) but I don’t think I need to endure a bullet wound to understand that it hurts. The whole tradcon/neo-masculinity crowd seems to be saying, “I signed up and got shot, how dare you buck the system and not get shot.” I remeber reading something in a Hunter S. Thompson novel where he mentioned that guys who wasted their lives in factories were the maddest at hippies who decided to get in a car and explore. “How dare those long haired commie faggots dare to do what I dreamed of doing but didn’t because I cared about what everyone thought.”

Okay, here’s an article you might want to peruse…

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-single/200806/what-about-single-men

30 thoughts on “Single Men are Discriminated Against…

  1. There’s only two options if you want to avoid the married old boys club.

    1. The tech industry
    2. Going into business for yourself

    I have done both, and it’s well worth it.

    1. I actually worked in the tech industry…

      I was a cold caller selling network equipment…

      I was calling on behalf of the manufacturer and most of the larger accounts only bought from resellers they had previous relationships with…

      The owners of the company and the engineers looked down upon me like I was a worthless piece of shit…

      (this isn’t silicon valley tech-in fact one of the reviews on glassdoor, one of the sales guys compared working at the company I was at and in contrast a real tech company as going from going from first class on an airplane to going to the cargo bay.)

      I would like to go into business for my self…

      But I don’t know what to do…

      Maybe I should take Ramit Sethi’s course…I’m joking…

      1. Yeah, I meant Silicon Valley (and a handful of similar places like the Route 128 corridor outside of Boston).

        To go into business for yourself, the question to ask yourself is, “what is it you’re good at that you can turn into an income?” The answer to that question will most likely not make you a billionaire, but you will be free.

      2. Agree with BP.
        I aim to open my own gaming store in the next year or so. It’s never gonna make me a ton of money, but it’s something I like, am good at, and will give me a chance to use my business degree. Plus, helping to make a cool/safe place for nerds and geeks to hang out is a good thing…we need a place to not be bothered sometimes.

  2. Agree with everything here, Stoner.
    The friends slowly leaving you behind when they get married and have kids…Bosses assuming that without a spouse/children to get home to means you have nothing but free time they can take advantage of…Everyone from random customers to relatives making subtle jibes or polite condemnations over the fact you’re 30 + not hitched + have no offspring…Even the virgin shaming, when I still was one (til I was almost 23), although it was different for me in that I was openly mocked for being “too picky” and “thinking I was superior/pure”.

    Uh, no…I just wasn’t mentally or emotionally ready to have sex in high school or early college. Just because one *can* have sex doesn’t mean one should. Stupid thing is, I was then told by my college peers that I obviously hated my sexuality since I still refused to have ONS or casual sex…and before I stopped blogging, I’d get commenters saying that I was either a lying bitch for saying I’m an unmarried, American, 30 year old woman with an N of 1 OR a stuck up c*nt who takes a sick kind of pleasure from “denying” other men my pussy.

    Whatever one does in life is never good enough for someone else, Stoner. Just can’t win, so why play?

  3. From the link:
    Myths about single women:
    “Your work won’t love you back and your eggs will dry up. Also, you don’t get any and you’re promiscuous.”

    Myths about single men:
    “You are horny, slovenly, and irresponsible, and you are the scary criminals. Or, you are sexy, fastidious, frivolous, and gay.”

    I can’t speak for others, but some of these myths jump around. For example, a few single male acquaintances of mine have repeatedly been told that they will one day really regret not having children to “carry on their family name” despite the fact that each of them has at least 1 brother with kids. Regardless, it’s incredibly asinine to essentially tell a man he should throw himself into 18-20 years of childcare, commitment, and debt just to have a younger person with his surname.

    Then there’s those who automatically assume I’m either a lesbian or a gigantic slut when I say I don’t have a boyfriend/husband, and those who assume I must be infertile or going crazy from the ticking of my “biological clock” as I have no kids and have never been pregnant. It’s incomprehensible to most that not everyone with a vagina wants a baby coming out of it. *shudder*

    One of the newest shaming tactics thrown around to voluntarily single men and women is that we’re all “selfish”. Selfish for having viable eggs/sperm yet not using them to make a baby when so many others are infertile. Selfish for having nice apartments or houses all to ourselves, when there’s families on the street. Selfish for having decent – good paying jobs with money that only goes to our savings accounts, when unemployment still is an issue and someone else with more mouths to feed would benefit from having our position.

    It’s all a load of B.S.
    Just people who are upset that some of us have decided to not follow the path that is pretty much forced down our throats since age 5.

    1. I would like to have a son, that part I do feel like I’m missing out on. Anyways, the selfish part is kind of funny. One guy who often tries to make fun of me at work mentioned I should get married. He is married, but his wife is probably too old to get preggers. He goes to the bars every weekend hoping a college girl is drunk enough that “something could happen.” He initially made comments that I must be a gay virgin because I don’t brag about sexcapades. Now he says I have 5 kids with 6 women (math isn’t his strength.) When he mentions my getting married, it doesn’t seem like it’s to have kids but to be the support system for some broad. Not interested.

      1. Is this the regular douche at your job? Dear Gods…every time you mention him, he sounds more idiotic. Is he seriously trying to knock up some bar chick? Is he truly too thick to understand that his wife would be able to put him through a divorce wringer AND the bar chick could get his ass for child support? What a dumbass.

        I’m sorry you probably won’t be having a son. While I have never wanted kids, I very much sympathize with MGTOW who used to dream about being a parent. Life is not always fair, even to those who deserve it. Have you considered volunteering at a Big Brothers, Big Sisters organization? That might ease some of the hurt, if it is bad.

      2. I never dreamed about having a son but it would be awesome to pass on knowledge about guns and tube amps-real male bonding, not the fruity stuff in the manuresphere…

        As far as the guy I work with, we all have avatars, mine is a guitar. Another guy is Samuel Jackson from a Quentin Tarantino movie. He has a “glamour shot” of him from the 90’s and also pictures where he is wearing tight jeans. I met someone like Roosh in real life and if it wasn’t so creepy, it would be funny. If you met him, you would be really annoyed, he thinks white women are goddesses.

      3. I can appreciate that. Honestly, I’m close enough to my siblings (who all adamantly want 2-3 kids each) that I will simply have to wait to be an aunt. No pregnancy on my part required, lol.

        Roosh just looks skeevy. (Not “creepy”…I don’t shame people.) He always looks like he has a hangover, just rolled out of bed, and didn’t bother trying to find a clean shirt to wear. Some are into that overly grundgy look…not me.

        People who want to pedestalize me for something I have absolutely no control over (in this case, being white) can suck it. I was hit on a few years ago in Georgia by a guy who frickin looked like a poster boy for Stormfront and specifically mentioned my pale skin in his pickup line. Ugh, I wanted to throw up…Getting hit on by a complete stranger with a neo-nazi shirt in a state I’m just stopping to get gas in is bad enough. Knowing he only thought I was sexy due to my pale skin, blue eyes and blonde hair was just a huge gross out.

      4. Have you considered volunteering at a Big Brothers, Big Sisters organization?

        This is a bad idea. First, all you’re doing is cleaning up after some single mother who would otherwise hate you. Second, you’ve made yourself a target for these three words, “he touched me”.

        Why help those who have caused these problems, and more importantly, why put yourself in a position for a false accusation?

      5. yeah, I’d rather get a dog…

        I never talked about this but when I was a younger guy I got no female attention, now that I’m getting older, some of the womyn who wouldn’t give me the time of day now try to flirt. I play it off like I don’t know what’s going on and I’m just socially awkward/clueless. It would actually be easier for me if the only way I could get sex was with a prostitute. Sometimes an older lady will say “You look good, why don’t you have a GF?” I know I’m not handsome, but if only I looked like Forney or Futrelle. (Of course I wouldn’t want the health problems from the morbid obesity.)

      6. While attention is flattering and feels good…

        If I say I’d want NSA-I’d love to hook up w/ a prostitute, people say, nah, yu could get laid, that’s for losers and woman haters. If I was like Forney/Futrelle, they’d say, “You’re gross, just remeber to take a long bath before and tip her extra for dealing with your disgusting butt.” They are both forms of shaming just saying that the second is easier to deal with…

      7. You live in the US like me, right? Why not just save up a little and go to one of the classier, legal brothels in Nevada? Or go get a nice massage + happy ending at a parlor? My FwB just went and had one a few weeks ago when we were too busy to get together for over 2 weeks. So long as you make sure to wrap it like he did and don’t go to a shady place, you should be fine.

      8. If I was gonna do it, I wouldn’t do it in the US, but then I’d wind up going where drugs are legal and then I’d forget about the pussy. The point I was trying to make (and I didn’t make it good) is one type of guy gets off easy. It’s like a Republican telling me I am broke because I am lazy. And then a Democrat telling me I am broke because the 1 percenters took all the money. Being single because you are ugly and can’t get any is easier to explain than being single because you can’t and don’t want to navigate the bullshit of dating or relationships. (remember everyone in my family was in an abusive/domestic violence relationshit except me.) It’s actually not about getting laid, it’s about others expectations of you to play a game that is rigged against you. Hence if I looked like Forney/Futrelle everyone would say of course that’s why you have a shitty attitude. Now people will be all like “you are a misogynist.” It all ties back to what Mr. Black Pill wrote about in The Reserves.

      9. Too true, Stoner.
        I can also empathize with the desire to not deal with the potential B.S. of relationships…We have similar, shall we say, lackluster childhoods that did nothing to persuade us otherwise, after all. If I were pressured into having more than a FwB arrangement, I’d likely be miserable and regretting the loss of my freedom. I presume you’d feel the same?

      10. Growning up living with mommy ans sis was a nightmare. The only females who treated me with any kindness were my grandmother and my dog. My asshole father would always whine about being thrown out of the house. He had it great, a studio apartment he could keep as messy as he wanted. In fact, now as an adult I keep my place messy. If any fucking womyn stumbles in it’s like a big middle finger saying “Get Out!”

      11. Lol, yup. My parents were total neat freaks as well. I don’t keep my place messy, but it is without a doubt lived-in. Certainly too messy to ever be in Home & Gardens, I’ll tell you that much!
        I do vacuum every other day though. My bird and guinea pig would make my home a pigsty if I didn’t.

      12. Seeds and fur are not fun to walk on. And the “dust” from feather casings can cause respiratory problems if there’s too much of it. :/

      13. BP,

        Meh. It was just a suggestion for Stoner if he truly wanted to help out kids. Obviously it’s not for everyone. I know I wouldn’t.

    2. For example, a few single male acquaintances of mine have repeatedly been told that they will one day really regret not having children to “carry on their family name” despite the fact that each of them has at least 1 brother with kids

      The reason for that is that “not carrying on the family name” can also be code for, “eventually you will have alzheimers or dementia or some other debilitating illness related to aging and no one will be around to take care of you so you will be stuck in a nursing home with no recourse if you’re abused”. The obvious problem with that is that there is no guarantee that kids won’t just stick you into a nursing home anyway and/or your wife will divorce you and poison your kids against you. Unless anti-aging medicine comes along (and there’s a good chance it will), you’re screwed one way or another, but they’re hoping you won’t realize that.

      1. Exactly. It’s a slightly more polite way to say “you’ll die alone”…even though all of us do, anyway.
        I wouldn’t want to live forever, but having a longer and healthier lifespan is a cool prospect.

  4. Great comments…you can always pretend to have a wife if climbing the corporate ladder required it. Just don’t actually get married (and become an indentured slave)!

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