paying 4 it….

You can read about a womyn’s experience with “cuddle therapy.” It brings up some (nuanced) points that get glossed over when people talk about prostitution.  She feels icky “paying 4 it.”  Something that should be free, cuddles, hugs, physical intimacy, she is now using the free market to put a price tag on.  I suppose she doesn’t feel icky paying for someone to work on her car because it requires skills she may not know and may not be interested in learning.  She probably doesn’t feel icky paying for a pizza because someone has to get the ingredients and make the thing.  Heck, she might not even feel icky about a so-called sports massage, y’know the ones where they actually can name muscle groups and not those weird places with the flickering lights and bars on the window.  Because even then, a skilled individual is working hard to get knotts out of her muscles.

She talks about being afraid to hire a man for this service because, presumably, she doesn’t want to let someone bigger and stronger into her living space.  I could cry “misandry, misandry” but since I’m not an M(h)RA weirdo like Dean Esmay, I’ll just say it’s understandable that she wouldn’t.

But here are the choice quotes that talk about “paying 4 it”–

” After I picked a time and date and received a confirmation, I then surrendered my AmEx number-for a second, it did feel a little dirty.”

“When our session is up and the $80 exchanges hands, I feel as if I’ve paid for a service that falls somewhere between therapy and a one-night stand. There’s still uncertainty and searching and the stirrings of an internal shift, maybe, but when I’m on the street, there’s overwhelmingly something else: the memory of someone holding me whom I held in return. I know human touch is important. I know that this is therapeutic. But for me, for now, it’s just not the same.”

Why is this so interesting?  Because whenever prostitution is talked about, men are expected to “pay 4 it” without feeling dehumanized in the process.  It’s all about the woman’s agency or how she might be coerced, or how she really doesn’t want to do it but the sweatshop paying 10 cents an hour wouldn’t hire her.  Manosphere guys talk about prostitution being a simple answer between “inequalities” between the sexes.  It isn’t, brah, it isn’t…


14 thoughts on “paying 4 it….

  1. So…I had to read this a couple of times and I’m still not sure I follow. Are you saying that more men should be able to say that they felt icky after plugging a ho?

    Now if you’re talking about the part where she actually gave her credit card number to a cuddle service, then I can totally agree with that. I’d feel a lot worse than icky. Never, ever use anything but cash for that kind of thing.

  2. From your own blog:

    ” Engaging in prostitution, even legal and regulated, is not for the faint at heart. It’s a sleazy affair, something that even the most sexually experienced “normals” would have a hard time bringing themselves to going through with.”

    So, how much of this is an “ethical ” dilemma? For example if it was legal and regulated, well wouldn’t a womyn with agency choose to be a prostitute because she didn’t want to be a barista? Is the sleazyness because maybe someone feels weird handing over money for a sexual service because in the back of their mind there is a cognitive dissonance that they are essentially saying their sexuality is worthless? (Of course I’ve heard about the Charley Sheen stuff, when asked why he pays, he said it ain’t for the sex, it’s so they leave afterwords.) You even admitted that guys with few options might not want the prostitute option. I am going to go a step further and say that “paying for it” is a form of male disposability. I’m talking about dates, cam shows, strip clubs, hookers.

    If guys want to bang hookers, that is their business and I ain’t telling them how to feel about it. I think the real reason this broad felt “icky” was that she didn’t feel valued or cherished. Likely she pays for many other things without feeling icky. Men are conditioned not to see their dispoasability and therefore not to feel icky. She wasn’t conditioned this way and thus felt icky. Presumably, some of the virgin men many people tell to visit prostitutes would also feel this way. The real discussion that feminists and M(h)RA’s will never allow is that paying for it is a form of male disposability.

    My feelings are this, legally speaking, it ain’t the gov’t’s postition to tell adults what they can do, ethically, I’m not a philosopher so I don’t have an answer, interpersonaly, men are allowing their need for sex, “affection” and validation to allow them to be exploited.

  3. By the time a man gets to the point when he is crowding 30 or 40 as a virgin, his sexuality has been officially proven to be worthless, as far as he’s concerned. In fact, it has negative worth because he has to pay to get rid of it. When you get to a point that low, prostitution can’t take you any lower, and depending on your mental state, it might even pull you back up a little bit. If Elliot Rodger had bitten the bullet and done what his (idiot) father had suggested, it might have pulled him up enough to where seven people and one BMW would still be alive today.

    Indeed, virgin men are being exploited. They are being ridiculed for having to go to prostitutes by the same people goading them into doing that in the first place. It’s a no-win situation for the adult male virgin — no matter what he decides to do, he comes out the loser either way. It becomes a choice between bad options and worse options, and the bad news is that the decisions you are faced with are not going away — time waits for no one, and there is only one way to not be a virgin anymore: to put your penis in a vagina. That takes the cooperation of someone who has a vagina, and if over 30 years have gone by and no female has ever given you that chance, you’re going to have to face the fact that you probably won’t be given that chance at some point in the next five years or so. If paying is the only way to get her to let you in, and you fail to come to grips with that reality by that magic date on the calendar, you become that caricature of the 40 year old virgin played by Steve Carell. Even if no one else knows (and they will), all of the rocks being thrown will still hit you. Unless you were raised in some place other than the world we live in, that is going to be how you will feel about it. Sure, it’s been conditioned into you and everyone around you, but knowing that doesn’t undo it.

      1. um, I think Doosh B got fuct, because he got paid, haha.

        Seriously though, I don’t think legalized prostitution would’ve helped ER. He was willing to break the law-shooting people is pretty much crossing all boundaries. If he wasn’t scared to do that, I doubt he was scared that going to a hooker would’ve been a police sting. Legalized prostitution probably only helps a guy afraid of losing his career and the ladies on the other side of the equation.

      2. The legality of prostitution where Elliot lived is actually irrelevant because he was only about a six hour drive from the legal brothels in Nevada — that’s roughly the same distance he was regularly driving to Arizona to get lottery tickets. He could have gotten it done legally, but the reason he chose to go on a rampage instead of, or even before, going to a brothel can only be explained by a mental block. People like him have such an aversion to going for the prostitution option that they lose sight of why they are actually avoiding it; the fact that he was more comfortable with shooting people, running them over and slashing them with a knife makes this all the more poignant.

        I am and will always be convinced that because he was as hung up as he was on his virginity, right up until the end, if he would have somehow made himself go to the brothel before committing the unthinkable, he would have realized that the massacre was unnecessary.

      3. well, alright then. He just wasn’t able to get laid how he wanted to get laid. Not that he couldn’t get laid. I think I saw part of a documentary on Nevada prostitution and I remember the ladies being interviewed weren’t particularly attractive. They were chain smoking, gossiping and constantly cussing. Kind of like the broads I would meet in my brief “barhopping” days. And they charge something like $500. Dude, I’d be much happier with another guitar amplifier or a new video game system (and I don’t care what that says about my masculinity.)

  4. I guess it’s about priorities, just like everything else. I actually wouldn’t mind a new guitar amp myself — or better yet, please find me a Strat-style, neck-through hardtail guitar that my Schaller 456 fine tuning wrap-around will fit onto — and if I only had about a grand (that’s what you pay if you want an attractive one) I would definitely rather throw it toward a guitar or some other material toy than an hour with a human toy…BUT that’s because I’m not a virgin, teetering on the edge of mass murder or crowding birthdays that serve only to crush a virgin’s already pulverized sense of self-worth. Maybe that’s the best thing you can say about prostitution for virgin men: it gives them their lives back, and everything in their lives that has been overshadowed by the big all-consuming “V”. It may seem like a lot of money for very little to anyone who gets sex with some regularity, and lost their virginity at 16 along with everyone else, but for virgin men whose lives are being slowly destroyed from the inside out, it might be a one-time investment worth every penny.

  5. I just played a guitar with a strat body, humbuckers and an upside down neck last week. It felt weird. IDK, what if a guy pays a $1000 and has a bad experience, the empowered, sex possy feminist ridicules the guy. That’d definitely set off an ER type guy.

    1. Believe me, even if the experience isn’t all that he thought it would be — which might actually be a relief to him, then realizing that the mountain people where throwing rocks down at him from wasn’t as high as they made it out to be — the newly post-virgin man is just going to laugh at the thought of the empowered feminist sex posse ridiculing him…

      I mean, ridicule him for what?

      Surely not for exploiting women, because if he has to pay $1,000 to a member of that sex posse just to finally feel like an adult and avoid other ridicule, it’s going to be obvious who was really exploited there. If they ridicule him for his performance in bed, then that would be taking a shot at his masculinity, which contradicts all they say about the toxicity of masculinity itself. Whatever his experience is like, they can’t ridicule him for the mere fact of having to pay for it either, because doing that would basically admit that their sexuality is a form of currency; in other words, their complaint would be that he exchanged it for paper currency rather than the less tangible things (charm, thuggishness, etc.) that it’s supposed to be exchanged for; but in doing so, they admit that it’s fundamentally an exchange. If they were truly sex-positive, they wouldn’t really care how he got it, provided that it was consensual…which leads us to the next contradiction: decrying prostitution while holding that a woman has a right to do whatever she wants with her own body.

      But here’s the really sweet thing: once he realizes what sex is all about — what feminists and everyone else have been ridiculing him for not getting all along — then suddenly, almost magically, what women in general think of him will become a whole lot less important. He will no longer feel like his life depends on what women think of him, as virgins usually grow accustomed to thinking, because he’ll then know exactly how to get it and how little it’s worth anyway.

      1. ” If they ridicule him for his performance in bed, then that would be taking a shot at his masculinity, which contradicts all they say about the toxicity of masculinity itself. ”

        funny how they are hypocrites like that…

    1. as I said above, just because something ain’t in good taste doesn’t mean it ain’t funny…

      these guys are just racist liberals who want the privilege of throwing the first punch but not being hit back. Sounds like a woman with a penis too me…

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