…piss bottle blues…

…alright, maybe you are wondering what my experience working for a third party company working for the richest man in the world has been thus far.  (Or maybe your not and you want me to write about gender and libertarian tough guys.)  (Or maybe you found better things to do with your time than read my weirdo blog-I commend you.) Well, if I have to pick one word, it would be INHUMANE…

Okay, I have to use an app to do my deliveries and it’s the same one contract drivers who use their own vehicles use.  There are a fair amount of problems with the app.  For example, if I am in a new development, the GPS hardly works.  A quick workaround is pulling up Google Maps but often this doesn’t help in a new development.  Add on top that the routing will have me literally zig zagging or driving in circles.  Sometimes the routing is logical even if it is the opposite of how I would’ve planned it but other times it is not.

Calling support is a nightmare and the problem is often worse after calling them than if I did nothing about it.  I swear, I think these fools all listen in on each others calls and see who can antagonize drivers worse.  I can give an example.  I was unable to locate an address.  You are treated like a criminal if you bring a package back but also treated like a criminal if it doesn’t get to the right person because you were unsure of an address or if you leave it in an unsafe location and someone takes it.  The address I was unable to locate was on a busy street.  I drove over the street about three times and was unable to locate the address or find somewhere safe to pull my van off the road.  Peeps behind me where tailgating and honking their horns.  I pulled off to a side street.  I called support, I explained what happened and also explained I was outside of the current area for the geotagging location so I couldn’t just swipe “unable to locate” on the app.  Support told me to swipe “unable to locate” on the app after the call was finished.  I thought maybe they changed things on the back end so that I could swipe as “unable to locate” because I called in and explained what had happened.  I then swiped “unable to locate” as told to do but the app told me I couldn’t do it because the geotagging wasn’t in the appropriate area.  Remember, I had driven out of the area, a busy street so I could safely make the call…

I could go on with many more stories but I don’t want to put myself in a horrible mood right now…

peterzon

Now, believe it or not, my job is not the worst job by far in this whole operation.  The warehouse workers are paid 25 cents above minimum wage and they aren’t full time.  I would rather work at a restaurant and get comped a meal and maybe get tips than work in the warehouse.  I am guessing they are having staffing problems because when I started, the warehouse people would bring racks of boxes to our trucks but now we are usually bringing the racks out ourselves.  This delays start times by maybe 30-40 minutes.

We drive white rental trucks with no logo of the company I am delivering packages for. One of my co-workers got pulled over by the cops because they thought he was trying to rob a house. Now some may say it is because the delivery operation is growing so fast that they are unable to take care of details like  “branding vans.”  However, I suspect there is a much darker reason.  There have been accidents and one fatality that I know off.  You could google the incident but it will not mention that the delivery driver was delivering for the richest man in the world.  I think this is intended by design.  Put undertrained non-union drivers into areas they never have delivered before and see if you can save a buck in contrast to using the Post Office or UPS.  If you put pressure on them and they cut corners like driving too fast in a residential area or whatnot, it won’t be directly tracked back to you.  Yeah, that’s why I think the vans are unmarked.  He doesn’t want customers to see us delivering “smiles” (the corporate speak they use for packages) in an unruly fashion such as breaking laws to hit our numbers. But he still demands his numbers.

Now on to the title of the article.  That’s a delivery driver “secret.”  If you are staying hydrated as they tell you to do, well, it’s gotta go somewhere.  Maybe you can make it to a MickyDee’s or maybe you find a bush.  But the quickest way is the Piss Bottle.  The funny thing is driving back after finishing a route and seeing all the piss bottles littering the lot.  I would like to send ’em to the to the “support reps.”

 

4 thoughts on “…piss bottle blues…

  1. Seems like you have reached the next level of working for bargain basement Lex Luthor’s global sweatshop chain. Of course, using third-party front to deliver stuff is about saving a little money and shielding themselves from liability. After all, Lex Luthor is going to take all that money with him when he dies.

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