A Public Service Anouncement for My Beloved Readers

If you are going to become a cannibal, don’t eat the brains

and, uh the bestest PUA infeild video ever…

Labor Day Jam

hahahaha…

here it is…

–slowly but surely–

I’m turning this blog into a music blog…

getting bored about whatever it is I was supposed to be writing about anyways and music is more fun…

…found this backer that reminds me of White Zombie at guitarbackingtracks.com and figured why not…

(pre) Labor Day Jam

and, yes, I’ve putt up a jam over this same backing track before.

You Consume Porn, I Consume Thrash…

So I never understood why Femanazi’s and Tardy Con’s referred to watching/wanking to pornography as consuming porn….

One consumes food, one consumes booze…

As the saying goes, you are what you eat–or maybe what you don’t poop…

One is inextricably “altered” by what one consumes…

So, masturbators, are you inextricably altered by the pornography you watch? Does it forever alter your carnal tastes? Or do you seek out the porn that matches your deep, dark fantasies?

With this sleigh of hand, (do I ad a joke about stick fingers here) –the anti-porn crowd has insinuated that porno viewers are forever changed by their viewing habits.

Do you consume horror movies? Do you consume the news? Do you consume other forms of media?

Sure as shit, I have consumed psychadelic mushrooms and they have forever and inextricably altered me. For that I am profoundly grateful.

I will also say I have consumed thrash metal. This artform has forever altered me. I’m finding I have difficulty keeping track of conversations in noisey rooms. I ask people to repeat themselves when I’m on the phone. I also find myself tapping out rhythms and humming riffs during arduous tasks such as standing in line…

this is a riff that keeps on coming up a odd times…

and, though not considered thrash by most, how can I not include this???

Goddamnit and Fuck, Summer’s Almost Over….

so, uh, this time of year I used to get very anxious…

time to go back to jail, er school…

and as much s I hate work, at least I get paid to do it…

but summer meant hours and hours of listening to shit like this…

When Boys Attack-How to let the kind womyn inside you shine in times that may make you feel like anything but…

He may scream, punch, take advantage or just quietly manipulate you.

The stereotype may be used against you by being told to provide or take care of needs; making you feel guilty, ashamed and less of a woman—but please don’t feel this way.

It may have nothing to do with you or maybe you did do something to provoke; either way how do you handle the attack?

If the ‘attack’ on you is a once-off behavior there may be something deeper going on resulting in this. In this instance it might be best to leave the situation in the heat of the moment and try coming back at a calmer time to talk it out—this conversation can be started by simply asking how everything is going.

However, if an inappropriate behavior is continually received you have to handle it. We are adults and whilst we don’t always act our best, mature conversations when things are not quite right is the outcome we need to strive for, whether it is in the workplace, home or a social setting.

Manipulative or snide comment behavior needs to be confronted with a calm approach. Find an appropriate setting, maybe invite the other out for a coffee or the like, and simply bring up the behavior, how it isn’t acceptable and ask ‘how can ‘we’ work this out?’ This approach, whilst often difficult is one of the best deflators.
We are all influenced by those around us.

Unfortunately sometimes the other party isn’t willing to move towards a mature attitude. In that instance it is best to remove yourself from this association as much as possible when you have made reasonable attempts to work it out. If someone doesn’t have your best interest at heart than it isn’t healthy to continue to let her or him be an influence in your life, as we are all influenced by those around us.

And this is hard, walking away always is because there were good reasons you walked into it. But that is part of being a good woman, knowing when to walk away at a mature time, not letting it get to a point that grinds you down, as this is when regrettable behaviors come out.
Often bad behavior can gain momentum with others and you need to be able to hold strong to your mature approach even when it is not visible to others, especially then, keep strong.

Remain calm, take moments to keep you together and mentally prepare yourself for these hard talks. As even when the mud is slung, you need to be prepared to be the one to show compassions, care and maturity.

Often bad behavior can gain momentum with others and you need to be able to hold strong to your mature approach even when it is not visible to others, especially then, keep strong.

But in your humanness, if you do falter in this you need to acknowledge it. Apologies are in order no matter hard you may find them. You need to acknowledge when your behavior isn’t at its best, confirm you know this and are working on it, and try to explore the trigger so both parties can better understand and prevent this next time.

There is such strength in acknowledgment and acceptance, this paves the way for growth; it almost always ensures it.

Don’t starve the world of your growth and the kind woman inside you—don’t run or fight back from situations where possible. We don’t need any more immaturity, we need wisdom, and a gentle touch, and if need be, we need to move on from things that may no longer serve us.

–um, yeah, is this like some seriously misogynistic, vyctym blaming shit?

David Fraudtrelle, cum over here quick, you just got a new article showing that slimy SWAB to be the kyriarchical, oppressive misogynist ™ you’ve always tried to paint him as by taking a small piece of what he said and the putting your words behind, changing the whole arc. But this time, Davey, you don’t have to do a thing, what he wrote is truly reprehensible–no manipulation needed. Well, that low status scumbag stonerwithaboner is a bit of a prankster. Yup, he did it again, switching him and her, kind womyn for gentleman. And he didn’t even write this piece. Here’s a link to the individual who wrote this awful piece. Apparently, she is divorced. Well, if she was hitting her husband, he had every right to leave…

and, for the sake of “intellectual honesty”–I made a small update after reading this from Daran at FC.

Was I in a Yakuza Hooker Bar???

alright, so I went to work out at the beach after sunset. It’s better that way, hardly any people and a bit eerie. That’s how I like it.

found myself in a divey, but not too divey part of town. The part where I can get really good pho during the daytime. The part that has those scarey places with the bars on the windows and the flickering massage sign in neon lights. Well, I walked past a place with blacked out windows and it said over 21. I figured it might be a club but if it was I could probably grab a beer for cheap since it was a week night.

Walked in. Saw some uptight Asian dudes in two piece suits. Walked past some booths that looked like what you’d see in a restaurant. Walked up to the bar. The bartender was wearing Daisy Dukes and a bikini top. Asked “What’s this place?”

She said, “Oh, just a nice place to have a drink.”

She handed me a warm towel and asked to wipe my hands.

Weird.

Seems like I’m in a Quentin Tarentino movie.

“Would ya like a drink?”

Fearing it might break the bank,

“Uh, what’ya got?”

She hands over a menu.

Bottles are $90 or more.

But single drinks are $4-$7…

I throw cash on the bar and ask for the cheapest one.

I’m worried this might be some weird scam, and I’m ready to walk out the door if things get weird.

She brings me a glass and ask if I want change.

“Keep it.”

She smiles.

She offers me “chips,”

They taste like Check Mix with spices.

I slam the drink and look around.

Old Asian dudes with girls who look young enough to be their daughters. Mandy Marcotte would not approve.

Nerdy guys who make Elliot Rodgers look like the “alpha” he thought he was with uncomfortable, attractive girls conversing with them.

Yeah, the girls definitely look like they dig the old guys over the nerdy guys. Maybe it cultural… or… …it’s dawning on me…

…the old dudes have money.

The two piece suits are giving me the evil eye…

I walk to the restrooms…

I see a bunch of broads playing with their phones…

One checks me out, sizes me up would be more accurate. She gives that look predatory animals give. She goes back to her phone, I ain’t worth the hunt…

I go back to the bar. The bartender asks if I want another drink.

“I’m good.”

“Howabout a water?”

“Okay.”

This is the part in horror movies where someone whispers “turn back, you can still make it out.”

The suits are still giving me the evil eye.

“Interesting place.” I state…

“Yeah, a very nice place to have a drink” she responds…

I want to ask, is this a hooker bar?

But even someone behind the curve on social graces such as myself knows not to…

I thank her for the drink and walk out the door.

I look the place up on yelp….

Apparently this is a “hostess bar.”

You pay womyn money to sit with you and, uh, talk…

The “filtered” reviews tell the fun tales…

Vice cops, Yakuza, girls without their greencards making more than surgeons…

oh, well, there are things I wasn’t meant to fully understand…

New Jam

got the backing track from http://www.guitarbackingtrack.com/ –threw down a lead… tried a few new (to me) recording tricks. Hope I’m getting better at lead…

rough around the edges…

so, I don’t really have much to say…

maybe it was the full moon but I’ve gotten very little sleep…

I feel tired but wired…

and I just heard Robin Williams apparently killed himself…

this song has been going through my head…

the “morality” of the disposable.

why lie, I wanted to be a fucking rock star…

I wanted the attention,and all the love I didn’t get in my shitty childhood…

Women, done that, drugs, yup that too…

I’m sure if my dreams panned out it would’ve been 10x, no 100x…

…but they didn’t so now I’m crying to you instead of sitting on some overpriced psychotherapist’s couch…

So, I needed to pay the bills…

and the economy hit the shits…

–remember 2008–I sure as fuck do…

…and the only jobs were sleazy sales jobs or fast food…

…well, at least with fast food, I’d’ve gotten a free meal, maybe…

…but with sales, if I could hit the bonuses,if i could make commission-then I could pay for food, and housing, and transportation, and not be homeless…

…and, yeah, somehow, I don’t think that’s a reality that some cunt empowered ™ upper middle class white womyn like Marcotte or Valenti ever faced my economic situation-but somehow I’m the one with privilege ™ because, like patriarchy, donchya know…

So I did what I could…

first selling pens and promotional magnets–y’know, the ones you’d get when you go to a pizza shop…

then I weaseled, er, talked my way into a technology company…

part-time hours, but for a broke ass bastard, it was almost full time pay. Of course no healthcare, and as a 1099, I had to pay a higher tax burden-but, donchya know I’m privileged ™ because, like patriarchy…

Hit the phones hard, but the boss was a histrionic alpha cry baby. Yup, just like that voice for men, Paul Elam, he probably thinks he’s something spechul, but high status men shitting on lower status men is not a new thing…

started reading blogs around this time too. Saw talk of “game.” Well, throwing yourself at womyn ain’t so different than cold calling like a mutherfucker, Some will give ya the time of day, some will throw a drink in your face but it’s one call in 478.9543 to find one down to fuck, er close a deal. So, I could see most that game stuff was all talk. “Act” alpha–cold call with a deep voice. Control the conversation, show you have value. Whatever, in the past 5 years, I’ve probably made 50,000+ cold calls. That ain’t bragging, that just shows how low status I am. But, you’ll hear some closet case like Chuck Rudd or Clarence in Baltimore say they’re better than me because, HBD. Whatever, this low status half breed hasn’t gotten a single penny from affirmative action. Not a penny from welfare, and I’ve probably paid far more in taxes than those race realist booty boi’s-whose the real leach now mutherfucker??? Anyyways, there were a shit-ton of days where I was ready to break down into tears after dealing with rejection after rejection–but there’s this magical nectar called beer that makes pain go away even if your head really hurts the next day. Butt hey, that’s what coffee is for, right??? So, I knew from my gut that those PUA’s were really selling a “bill of goods.” Some women would be down to fuck just like some customers would buy what you peddle, but in finding those few, you’d have to survive soul crushing rejection after soul crushing rejection. So, really, any PUA who tells you you won’t need balls of steel and deal with a bunch of bullshit is lying through his teeth. Sure, go buy the sales manual, er PUA book and pretend your “empowered.”

Back to that histrionic “alpha” crybaby…

..after being yelled at because I didn’t have enough “confidence” even though I was able to bring in a killer deal, well, you get to the point you just don’t give a fuck. So there was that last time that self styled Elam would yell at me. He was bigger than me but he probably couldn’t kick my ass in a fight. After years of living frugally, I had about 10k in the bank. I didn’t quite tell him to go fuck himself but I refused a deal that wasn’t in my best interest. He threw a hissy fit. Threw his phone on the ground like a crazy high school girl. I re-ran the events in my head a few times and if I was the “dead weight” some said I was, he should have been happy to see me go. But I know when I walked out that door-and I still ain’t sure if I quit or was fired, he really saw at least 40k of value –or to put it another way– a resource that refused to let him extract more waling out the fucking door. Yeah, it wasn’t PUA or MRA blogs that told me to value myself but the filthiest of the filthy-motherfuckers like stardusk and Barbarosaaa that let me realize I had value outside of my utility to others–but that’s a rant for another day…

Spent most of 2014 whittling down my savings. 1099 doesn’t get fat cat unemployment-pull yourself up by the bootstraps you worthless piece of shit….

Took a few short term contracts/temp work. Talked my way into another tech gig…

1099 still, Obamacare, where’s my corporate bailout? You’d still send me to die in some oil field so your bro GW can get his fat oil stocks. Well, at the new gig-loose lips sink ships…

I revealed how I find my leads. I just go to a competitors website, look at their references, call ‘em up, innocently ask who they are using (already knowing the answer.) Most hang up the phone. But a few, they say they ain’t happy. I play caring psychologist for 5-10 minutes, let them whine and cry. If they stop, say “please do go on” like a gossip hungry journalist. If the call lasts for more than 15 minutes, then I know I got a deal that’s 60-90% likely to close.

I probably shouldn’t have said that infront of the “genius” software engineer guy. He gave me a dirty look like the white knight who hears the PUA brag about sleeping with married womyn while her hubby’s out on deployment.

What’s the difference between me and a whore? Well, at least when the whore isn’t fucking some manblob like Forney/Futrelle whose hygiene is almost as disgusting as his manbobage or some middle aged sociopath like Hugo Schwyzer, she can lie back, close her eyes and pretend the sorry sap giving her half a week’s pay is someone she’d actually like to fuck and have a few orgasms…

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